A must read story; about life & marriage. :]

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. 

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. 

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? 

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! 

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. 

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. 

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. 

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. 

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. 

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. 

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. 

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. 

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside 
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. 

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. 

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. 

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. 

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. 

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. 

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. 

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. 

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. 

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. 

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. 

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. 

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. 
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.... 

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! 

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. 

If you do, you just might save a marriage. 
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. 

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME. 

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

A firefighters wife.

I never truly understood what women were complaining about when they become a firefighters wife. I always thought "you knew getting in the relationship it was going to be that hard" and actually that isn't true. Being a fireman's wife is one of the hardest jobs there is out there (beside's an active military wife). Your life revolves around their schedule ( even if you don't realize it). You plan play dates, doctors appointments, baby sitters, time with friends and family, and even your "alone" time around their schedule. I love being a fireman's wife but there's so much more out there. Granted I have only been one for a short amount of time, but you'd think after almost 2 years you'd get everything down pat. Recently my husband got a call for a woman who they weren't able to bring back, come to find out it was a part of our family's grandmother. They called us to come to "family night" due to the family wanting to meet him, and I thought I was prepared for what was to come. The daughter of the woman came out and thanked him for all that he did, and she knew that he did all that he could. The woman was crying and "thank you" wasn't enough for her, so of course as he's explaining it to her I started crying. It wasn't anything that had a real affect on me, it was the fact that you never see that enough. You always hear the bad side of the story, or you see when the blame gets put on them for something they had no control over. It's the little things like a "Thank you" that means the most to those men. They risk their lives more than most of us do or would even think about doing, but they do it and never think twice about it. Which leads me back onto the "firefighters wife" kick. Have you ever sat down with your husband or wife and asked: "So if you don't return home, what is to be done?" or "If you don't return, how should I explain it to our children?" Yeah, not the normal or easy questions to ask the one person you dedicated your whole life to but it has to be done. I enjoy being a firefighters wife more than anything in the world, and I thank God everyday where i'm at. I've never been more proud in my entire life then to watch the one person that I see the true colors of helping out someone in need and getting a thank you.

Love Dare; Day 1.

Our marriage isn't perfect, infact we both have trials and errors. Am I saying that our marriage needs work? Not technically, but there's always different ways of improving anything weither it's a job, parenting, relationships, marriage, and even yourself. I'm addicted to the "Fireproof" movie and considering that my husband himself is a firefighter that takes in a factor, but this book is what sold me 100%. If you haven't seen the movie I suggest checking that out before the book, so you can see the actual outcome. It's 40 days worth of challenges, that help you improve your relationship. I currently just started this book last night, so I'm on day one. So here we go (and no, i'm not giving you the whole entire book. I'm going to make you actually read it for more).

Day One of the Love Dare:
"Love is patient"

Verse: Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. --Ephesians 4:2

A part into the chapter itself is:
"Love works. It is life's most powerful motivator and has far greater depth and meaning that most people realize. It always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems."

"Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness"

--So going off of the patient and kindness part of the chapter, the actual dare was: "Demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all." And of course it's got in there as well "it's better to hold your tongue then to say something you'll regret."

--Now, of course you'll say "hey that's easy", until you actually do it. My husband and I don't really have that many issues. Communication is  huge thing of ours that we seem to lack in. Even though I was having a bad day, and there was many things I wanted to say or complain about I remembered that I couldn't (hence the point that this was so hard) but I told him that I wasn't able to say anything negative to him or about him. That's what I took out of this, and I didn't even really complain to him at all. That's just day one, but i'm pretty excited to see how this road goes, & a HUGE thanks to "Fireproof" the movie & Stephen Kendrick & Alex Kendrick for this AMAZING read.

"We may not have it all together, but together we have it all."

Let's start out with an little introduction to my family & I.  My name is Meghan Hemp. I'm twenty one years old and i'm married to the love of my life and my best friend of eight and a half years. I'm a mother to an absolutely gorgeous little boy who is my world and absolutely more. I work a full time job & balance motherhood and being a wife at the same time. My life is getting better at better as each day goes day. Now it's time to introduce you to the two most important people in my life. :)

This is my husband & my best friend, Darren Hemp. I've known him over 8 and a half years, and he's the love of my life. He's everything I could have ever asked for and more. He's a hero on a daily basis with his job and to his little boy who adores the ground he walks on. I'm the luckiest person in the entire world to have such a caring and amazing husband. Now onto our little joy. :)

This is Gavin Eli Hemp born on November 19th, 2010. He was everything and more we could of asked for, he's amazing. It's insane how much love you have for something so small, and how much damage something so small can break you or make you. He is so much like us it's crazy, but of course he's perfect. I can't believe how fast he has grown up in a matter of a few months. Oh we love him. :)










This is my life, everything that holds me together is on this page. Everything I live for, or breathe for is here. They completely me in so many ways. This is my life.